1-2-1: Seniority breaks the feedback system

24 Mar 2026 — 1 min read

I asked an engineering director last week when he last received genuinely honest feedback from his team, and he couldn't remember.

You got promoted. The honest feedback stopped. Nobody told you.

1 Principle

Authority doesn't shrink your blind spot. It expands it.

The higher you go, the less honest input you get. Not because people stop caring. Because they start editing. The thing most leaders miss is that self-awareness isn't an internal skill you develop through reflection. It's an environmental condition. When the environment stops supplying honest input, even the most self-aware leader starts making decisions on filtered information.

2 Things Top of Mind

#1 The meeting after the meeting

You've just run a leadership sync. It went well. Decisions were made. Everyone left. And then the real conversation happens. In Slack DMs, in the corridor, in the "quick chat" someone has with a peer. That's where the honest assessment lives. The things people thought but didn't say in front of you. The concerns that got softened before they reached the room. You're not in that conversation. You might not even know it's happening.

This week: Ask one person you trust: "What's one thing I do that makes it harder for you to do your job?" Then stop talking. Don't explain, don't defend. Just listen. The quality of the answer will tell you how safe they feel.

#2 You can't reflect your way out of a broken input system

I see this pattern regularly. A leader senses something is off, so they do more self-reflection. Journalling, coaching, 360 reviews. But the gap isn't internal. It's environmental. You can't see what people are choosing not to show you. What actually works is regular, specific input from someone close enough to see the pattern and safe enough to name it.

This week: Identify one person who has seen you under pressure in the last month. Ask them: "How did I show up in that moment?" Make this a recurring conversation, not a one-off.

1 Question

Who on your team has stopped telling you the hard things?

1-2-1

Liam Darmody

I’m a leadership coach and product advisor. I work with senior product and engineering leaders during periods of transition and growth, helping them regain clarity, align teams, and perform sustainably under pressure.

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